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Apparently, members, cue makers and retailers are involved in a huge conspiracy to sell you cues that you don't need. Your breaks won't increase and game improve with a great cue, not a chance of it. So you may as well stick with that Riley Classic your dad bought you for Xmas when you were 10, the one that cost twenty quid. You know, the one that's centre jointed with two sides of brass weighing nearly as much as the rest of the cue. And you have the advantage of a rubber stopper on the end when you miss and slam your cue down, you don't get them on fancy cues! No-one will ever steal your cue, bonus.
Talking of brass, there's plenty on the end of that Riley Classic, in fact the ferrule is nearly solid brass, there's almost no wood in the middle. That's how a ferrules is supposed to be, built like a tank. But don't worry because this doesn't affect how it plays. All that clunk and throw is just down to you and your poor play, nothing more. So don't fall for conspiracy number two, changing ferrules. Which is to relieve you of your hard earned money for more of nothing that will help your game. Titanium, fibre, nylon, black-spin, Pah! Forget that, take your Classic down the snooker hall and shoot some snooks, that's all there is to it.
Whatever you do when you get there, under no circumstances speak to anyone there who is a coach, claims to know a coach or has any 'knowledge' of the game. This will pollute your head with more unnecessary rubbish that will only ruin your game and relieve you of your hard earned money by.......................................you guessed it, the conspirators! The best way to improve your snooks is to down some lager and have a few frames with mates. You can either play drunk or you can't. If you can't, accept your 16 break and enjoy the beers. Nothing the conspirators say can change your breaks. No-one has ever improved from the first frame they've played; fact. Ronnie has always made 147s, from the first cue ball he hit. He's never had an hour of coaching so why should you? You can either hit the tonnes or your can't. To say different is just giving in to the conspirators.
Lastly, don't even hint at thinking about your tip. The tip that Riley put on in China is a classic, just like the cue. It may be hard but it will last 20yrs and see you through a lot of drunk, happy snooker nights out that you will barely remember. You can hit the ball as hard as you like and hey, why not just whack the damn thing, it's a lot of fun. The Riley tip can handle it, fancy-Dan tips can't. Bits of leather glued together is the worst conspiracy of all, only a fool would fall for that. Riley know what they're doing, you don't. Accept the way your tip plays and get another Carling!
Whenever these money grabbers say or write something, think about their conspiracy to seize your wallet; no cue should ever cost more than 7 pints of lager! Take it from me, I've made breaks of 8 all my life and I'm proud. I've bought hundreds of cues, ferrules and tips and had thousands of hours of coaching. I play the same as I did when I was 10. I burnt my Parris Ultimate in disgust, the TW ended up in a flower pot and don't even ask me where I shoved the Crispian Jones. After all that money spent on rubbish I had to send my Riley Classic cue back to China to get a proper 20yr tip put back on. I've accepted who I am and I'm happier and drunker as a result. I've got the balls leaving the table again and I wouldn't be able to do this with a fancy-Dan cue. Nah, Riley Classic, you are my one, my only cue. How could have I doubted you?
Talking of brass, there's plenty on the end of that Riley Classic, in fact the ferrule is nearly solid brass, there's almost no wood in the middle. That's how a ferrules is supposed to be, built like a tank. But don't worry because this doesn't affect how it plays. All that clunk and throw is just down to you and your poor play, nothing more. So don't fall for conspiracy number two, changing ferrules. Which is to relieve you of your hard earned money for more of nothing that will help your game. Titanium, fibre, nylon, black-spin, Pah! Forget that, take your Classic down the snooker hall and shoot some snooks, that's all there is to it.
Whatever you do when you get there, under no circumstances speak to anyone there who is a coach, claims to know a coach or has any 'knowledge' of the game. This will pollute your head with more unnecessary rubbish that will only ruin your game and relieve you of your hard earned money by.......................................you guessed it, the conspirators! The best way to improve your snooks is to down some lager and have a few frames with mates. You can either play drunk or you can't. If you can't, accept your 16 break and enjoy the beers. Nothing the conspirators say can change your breaks. No-one has ever improved from the first frame they've played; fact. Ronnie has always made 147s, from the first cue ball he hit. He's never had an hour of coaching so why should you? You can either hit the tonnes or your can't. To say different is just giving in to the conspirators.
Lastly, don't even hint at thinking about your tip. The tip that Riley put on in China is a classic, just like the cue. It may be hard but it will last 20yrs and see you through a lot of drunk, happy snooker nights out that you will barely remember. You can hit the ball as hard as you like and hey, why not just whack the damn thing, it's a lot of fun. The Riley tip can handle it, fancy-Dan tips can't. Bits of leather glued together is the worst conspiracy of all, only a fool would fall for that. Riley know what they're doing, you don't. Accept the way your tip plays and get another Carling!
Whenever these money grabbers say or write something, think about their conspiracy to seize your wallet; no cue should ever cost more than 7 pints of lager! Take it from me, I've made breaks of 8 all my life and I'm proud. I've bought hundreds of cues, ferrules and tips and had thousands of hours of coaching. I play the same as I did when I was 10. I burnt my Parris Ultimate in disgust, the TW ended up in a flower pot and don't even ask me where I shoved the Crispian Jones. After all that money spent on rubbish I had to send my Riley Classic cue back to China to get a proper 20yr tip put back on. I've accepted who I am and I'm happier and drunker as a result. I've got the balls leaving the table again and I wouldn't be able to do this with a fancy-Dan cue. Nah, Riley Classic, you are my one, my only cue. How could have I doubted you?
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