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  • Men and women

    Men and women...
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE:
    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was s going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

  • #2
    HAHAHA well played. =]

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    • #3
      You may have buggered up your sex life permanently with that line

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      • #4
        Very interesting story. Actually, you hold the upper hand in this duel. Smart play, and I can only appreciate such cool mental blow-out wins
        All the way Mark J!!

        I understand nothing from snooker. - Dedicated to jrc750!

        Winner of the German Masters 2011 Lucky Dip

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        • #5
          Originally posted by montoya10 View Post
          Very interesting story. Actually, you hold the upper hand in this duel. Smart play, and I can only appreciate such cool mental blow-out wins
          You don't know what happened the next day

          I'd say there wasn't a winner - no sex afterall...
          Co-winner of Spike’s 2009 UK Championship number of centuries prediction contest.

          RIP Noel. RIP.

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