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  • Banned from Sainsbury's

    Banned from Sainsbury's

    Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had? An elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
    ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

    (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

    Better watch what you ask retired people.

    They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

  • #2
    D'oh, sorry to hear that Ashbash ... if you don't mind me asking, where do you buy your Purina from now?

    Sounds like a good diet and I might give it a go myself ...

    Woof woof

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    • #3
      Haha what a legend!
      I love the game of snooker :) (even though my mates think that its just a load of balls :D )

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      • #4
        Good wan Ash!

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        • #5
          Good one
          Steve180
          Cues for swap/sale
          Powerglide Purist 3/4
          Peradon Anniversary 1 piece

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          • #6
            LMFAO!


            classic!
            what a frustrating, yet addictive game this is....

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ashbash View Post
              Banned from Sainsbury's

              Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

              What did she think I had? An elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
              ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

              I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

              (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

              Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

              I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

              I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

              Better watch what you ask retired people.

              They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
              Some people have no sense of humor.

              Comment


              • #8
                Absolutely superb - could you get a job as a busker at my local Sainsburies to brighten up the wait in the queue!!
                Janie Watkins
                On Q Promotions / South West Snooker Academy
                All views are my own and in no way represent On Q or the Academy

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                • #9
                  Great story, and further proof (if any was required) of what a bunch of miserable sods we have to share our lives with.

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                  • #10
                    Ashbash your a class act mucker , would love to have been there , really would , i bet her face was a picture , you should have put that stun gun of yours on her

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