No announcement yet.

Stupid places to put a table

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Stupid places to put a table

    A few years ago I was asked by a Pool table operator would I be able to supply a table for a friend of his. I gave him the measurements required to house the table, but he said that he had all that taken care of. It was going into a conservatory and space was allotted for a bar at the end of the room
    The deal was done between the operator and myself, but I was contracted to fit the table. First of all the conservatory had a clear glass roof, and secondly its size was 19x14ft. When we arrived at the site I rang the operator and told him the room was to small, but he said go ahead with it anyway. Either way I didnt mind as I had got paid for the job.
    The table when fitted looked a mess, you couldnt swing a cat in the room, never mind fitting a bar, but 12 months later we were called back by the owner of the table to recover it, as according to him the cloth had faded a little. When we arrived the cloth was SNOW WHITE from the sun, the sides and legs of the table very badly faded again from the sunlight. The owner told me he had only used the table possibly a dozen times, but he needed it re-covered as he had family visiting home from America. He also made a deal with us that if we recovered the table, he would then give us the table to take away after the visitors had gone.
    Needless to say we took him up on the offer.
    Anyone else with similar stories ?
    When you but cheap... You buy twice !

  • #2
    hi Gerard , yes I have a few

    1, Terraced house with both rooms knocked into one , table had 1.5 foot down each side clearence and 4 foot at baulk end , 6 foot at spot end but that end also had a TV and a 3 seater sofa and a fish tank in it , i think he broke the fish tank on the first ball to jump off the table .

    2, Conservatory just like youres and also same result white faded cloth and wood , table was then dismantled and transported to spain and set up on an outside patio with a roof over it but open sides , Damp got at it and it is now fire wood .

    3, Country club where a designer had measured up for two full sized tables and lounge area for food and bar , when we set the tables up the Designer forgot to allow for Cueing room between the two tables , the client lost half his lounge seating area , and the designer was sued .

    4, Pig stye / Cattle shed ..bad sloping floor for swilling the pooh away , the Farmer said just pack the table up on one side on Bricks ? , so two house bricks under one sides legs , he said he would drop some concrete around the table and level it out later ( typical farmer ) , 10 years later we got the job of recovering it for his son as dad had passed away , the table was till on the house bricks .

    5 in a swimming Pool , yes an empty one that had a wood floor put in it and wood stairs leeding down to it , but the side's where still blue tiles .

    6 above a Garage on a flimsy wood floor , the customer had a vintage roll royce underneath the table , and I was very scared that the whole lot was about to give way and we all fall on top of the car , he moved the car and sent for some acro props , a year later he sold the table that he bought for £3000 for £10,000 , it was a Barley twist oak table with foot rails and 20 legs .
    he told me he just could not keep the rolls outside under plastic as it was rusting .

    7, I was moving a 9ft table for an older gentleman who was moving house , the room he had in the new house was just not large enough being just 11 foot by 9 foot , He was arguing with his wife for most of the day and we still had the table on the van , I asked after a couple of hours of Drinking tea what he wanted to do with the table he said , you keep it we have no where to put it , I thanked him , what I got was a real cracker with antique score board and cue rack .

    I am sure there are more but just cannot think about them at the moment . but from a fitters point of veiw any table upstairs those slates are very


    just thought of one mistake an owner of a snooker club did when setting up a clup , 20 full sized table and there where pillars all over the place holding the roof up , he had clad the pillars in Glass mirrors from floor to ceiling and put pot rails on them for beer glasses , I told him if any balls come flying off the table and hit the mirror glass which was not saftey glass then it may shard and cutt into someone , he ignored me , 2 months later that actualy happened and he got sued by the person who got cutt , he was made to take all the mirror glass off the pillars .

    I often put tables in conservatory and rooms with patio doors at one end , I always advise to break off with the D end at the patio door end to avoid balls jumping off the table when breaking off and damaging the glass door .
    Last edited by Geoff Large; 23rd September 2011, 10:21 PM.


    • #3
      Some funny stuff there. It's not often I laugh out loud on a snooker forum!

      As you may know from my other thread, I just had my table fitted, but we designed our house to have a table from the start. I was constantly watching the builders to make sure they didn't make the snooker room any smaller than the plans, and especially the plaster board fitters.

      Anyway, luckily I am not adding to the thread of stupid places to put a snooker table. However, I was thinking of putting some of my mums ornaments on a mantle piece so i can knock them off when attempting Jimmy White style shots just like i used to do as a boy on my 5ft table


      • #4
        Not been on the forum for a while. Things haven't been too good. No actual silly stories for here except.... there is a wonderful episode of Steptoe & Son where the son buys a table and, of course, has no room for it. It ends up in the yard and he is playing in a thunderstorm.

        Am I the only person ever to have enough space for a 12' table, enough money to buy a 12' table and permission from the wife for a 12' table only to decide to get a 10' and hate myself ever after??


        • #5
          Like Geoff, I've done installs upstairs, downstairs,lofts, basements, cellars and everywhere in-between... The worst one for level wise was a 7ft Supreme Winner fitted in a 17th Century cottage in the Middle of winter, 2 ft of snow outside, so extremely hazardous unloading from van and actually getting inside to the cottage. Customer was an Aussie, very accomodating and helpful. When we got the table into the 'games room' there was a 12 inch drop in the floor at one end, but bizzarely, just in one corner... Ended up putting blocks under this leg and, somewhat to my suprise, managed to level it. Happy customer..

          Then recently I installed a 7ft Superleague (the old box leg type) outside on some decking in what seemed like a force 9 gale... Very slippy wood is when wet, but no injuries incurred and table left level underneath Waterproof Heavy Duty cover I sold customer - as the cheap and nasty Tarpauline he'd purchased brand new from a well known supermarket had 2 splits in it and certainly didn't "help - not even a little..."

          Probably have loads of others that will no doubt spring to mind soon...Dave..


          • #6
            My old club was set up with a pool table and dart boards in the bar, 6 snooker tables each side of pillars in a big room. Lovely.

            Few years ago they decided to take 6 snooker tables out and replace with 6 pool tables and put the best match table in the bar (only just big enough).

            Went in last night, people with pints all over the rails of the best match table, stains all over it. The remaining 6 snooker tables all being used, not a single pool table light was on.

            Way to ruin the club!
            Unclevit C Brand - CueGuru Tip.